Terms to know to perform well on dating apps

With the pandemic, the trend (which was already taking up more and more space) is for dating apps. Yes, you can find everything out there. There are, among other things, many words or expressions that we see quite rarely elsewhere.

So here, I present to you some of them. For some, I offer you the definition so that you are not too caught off guard. For others, I am still questioning myself on their meaning. No, it’s not always easy to know what these things really mean…

Those that are clear

Because humans like to complicate things, here are some phrases that you will frequently find on dating apps that mean something.

The famous types of personalities

Analysts	INTJ – Imaginative thinkers and strategists, with a plan for everything  INTP – Inventors, innovators and endowed with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. ENTJ – Bold, imaginative leaders with a strong character. They always find a way to achieve their ends, otherwise they create it. ENTP – Shrewd and curious thinkers, unable to resist an intellectual challenge.
Diplomats	INFJ – Calm and mystical idealist, but very inspiring and tireless. INFP – Poetic, kind and selfless people who are always ready to support a good cause. ENFJ – Charismatic and inspiring leaders, able to fascinate their audiences. ENFP – Enthusiastic, creative and sociable free spirits who always manage to find a reason to smile.
The sentries	ISTJ – Pragmatic individuals interested in the facts, whose seriousness cannot be questioned. ISFJ – Very dedicated and very warm Protectors, always ready to stand up for those they love. ESTJ – Excellent managers, unmatched efficiency when it comes to managing things, or people. ESFJ – Extraordinarily caring, sociable and popular people, always ready to help others.
Explorers	ISTP – Bold and pragmatic experimenters, masters of all kinds of tools. ISFP – Flexible and charming artists, always ready to explore and try something new. ESTP – Clever, energetic and very insightful people who really like to live on the cutting edge. ESFP – Spontaneous, energetic and enthusiastic entertainers; with them, you never get bored.

To learn more, I suggest this website (in French).

Intersectional feminism

That is part of the “we like to complicate what should be simple” category. Human beings like to divide people and things. Here is the definition I borrow from the website of Les Glorieuses, and translated:

Intersectionality makes it possible to integrate the differences between women, making it possible to go beyond the very notion of feminism. This prism also offers a new space of visibility for women who suffer both sexism and racism and by extension, sexism and classism, sexism and homophobia, sexism and transphobia, but also transphobia, homophobia, classism and racism within feminism.

How come we have to create a term to say that it includes all the terms we invented because people don’t want to feel left out by differences that have been classified by terms we have invented? So nowadays we are no longer feminist and anti-racism. No. We are an intersectional feminist. So in order to be anti-classism, we invent a new class of thought. Hey! Let’s continue to piss off people who are not sure they want to be a feminist by adding a layer to their uncertainties…

Types of sexuality

Speaking of classism and categorization, let’s now turn to possible sexualities – or sexual orientations. Are you straight, gay or bisexual? These 3 classifications have already been enough to describe our human sexuality, between humans. But now it’s much better divided. Because it is important to divide. So say hello to the latest classifications (among others):

Sapiosexual: Describes a person who is sexually and emotionally attracted above all by a person’s intellect, by their intelligence, their quick wit.

Demisexual: Refers to a person who only feels sexual attraction when there is an emotional attachment.

Graysexual: This is a person who does not experience sexual attraction except in rare circumstances. It could also be someone who feels desire, but has too low a libido to consider taking action.

Pansexual: The pansexual is a person who feels sexually attracted to any kind of person (man, woman, trans…). They do not ask the question of the object of their desire based on gender, sexual orientation. A pansexual person can develop a sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of gender. They can fall in love with someone who is heterosexual, gay, bisexual, transgender, or even intersex. Pansexuals are different from bisexuals in that they do not place importance on the biological sex and gender of their partner.

And I will not embark on the classifications of belonging of genres…

Those that are blurry

There are terms and phrases that come up over and over again in dating apps, but they don’t mean anything on their own. I noted 2 that I saw particularly often.

Nothing complicated

There is an incredible amount of women who write in their description “I want nothing complicated.” Is that so? In return, I have never seen “I’m looking for something complicated”.

But what does “nothing complicated” mean? In the empty sentence style, for me, this is a good one. For one person, children mean complicated. For others, like me, it doesn’t. For some, poly-love is complicated. But for others it is so much easier. So, I ask you ladies: what is it that “not complicated” means?

Open-minded

I love that one! When a girl basically writes that she is “open minded” I never know what to expect. Is it an open-mindedness of the kind that she won’t judge if someone tells her they are heteroflexible and polyamorous? Or does that mean she wants to try everything in bed? Or that she likes to taste exotic foods? Open-mindedness is wide and imprecise.

And here I can tell you from experience. Open-minded, it’s not the same from person to person. Stephen Harper certainly considers himself open-minded. My advice to all these ladies (I’m not sure if gentlemen write this stuff too, sorry): if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises, be specific.

With that, I wish you a good dating!